One abuses another when one uses the power one has over the other to meet ones own needs at the expense of the other.

One of the more difficult aspects of this definition is that it includes behavior that we all do from time to time. For the purposes of building healthy and just relationships this is a better definition than ones which only address criminal abuse.


Accountability is the ability to take into account aspects of our relationships with others.  



Expectations are the best guess we have about what is actually going to happen.  We want out expectations to be wrong as seldom as possible.  When our expectations are wrong repeatedly we will want to adjust the expectations.

Differentiated from Standards.


Standards are goals for personal performance which are set just above what we are currently able to do consistently.  

Differentiated from expectations.